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Making Marriage Work for YOU

I’ve been married for 20+ years so I consider myself a (personal experience) expert on marriage. I believe, sometimes, life experiences are much better than book sense or degrees. I’d rather hear from someone who has been where I’m trying to go. Success breeds success.
How can you preach to me about marriage and you’ve never been married?

How can you tell me how to change a baby’s diaper and you’ve never changed one?

Experience is the best teacher.

#marriage.

You’ve planned the big day since you were a little tyke. The scenario has been rehearsed over and over.

The big day has finally arrived. Many things go as planned and many do not. We will press fast forward because the wedding day can be a complete blog post of its own.

You’ve been married a couple years and things are still going great, but something’s missing…

You’ve survived:

  1. The toilet seat being left up or down
  2. Bad morning breath
  3. Flatulence (farts)
  4. Someone besides you have been using your bath towel
  5. Dirty smelly socks on the floor
  6. Extra checks being written on the bank account without your knowledge
  7. An empty milk carton left in the fridge
  8. The toothpaste being squeezed from the middle of the tube.
  9. Insert your own issues here…………

The list can go on, but let’s not turn this into a “reason to get a divorce” post.

You love this human and you want your marriage to last many more years down the road, right? Right

Here’s a few suggestions you should do keep your marriage on the path to longevity:

Communicate

Each person must make an effort to talk and to listen attentively. This is the most important step in a marriage. If you don’t Communicate, you won’t have a relationship. We are all able to talk and explore our feelings. So it’s imperative to discuss any and all issues of concern to both parties.

Never go to bed angry

I’m sure you’ve heard this many times. Listen to me, no matter who’s right or wrong, one of you must bow down before bedtime. Nothing is that bad to where two grown adults can’t talk it out before bed. Maybe you won’t totally agree, but you can give a hug and a kiss goodnight.

Agree to disagree

Don’t sweat the small stuff and it’s all small stuff

Honor your vows
You made a commitment in front of God that you would honor and cherish this person til death do you part. Honor your commitment to God.

Show affection
Even if its a simple hug or pat on the head. A touch is a huge notation that you care.

Ask, answer, listen, hear
Whether you are a talker or not, you must bypass yourself and ask, as well as answer basic questions. In the morning you can ask, “how did you sleep?” And listen to the answer. After work ask, “how was your day?” “Anything interesting go on?” Piggyback off of the previous days answers. This requires you to listen and remember.

Don’t lie
Need I say more? Lying is my pet peeve. Never lie. If you don’t lie then you’ll never have to remember the truth. Lying is for punks. Man or woman up. Don’t punk out. If you made a mistake, own up to it. Your burdens will be much easier to carry if you keep them light. What’s more important is to remember this, ” what’s done in the dark, will ALWAYS cone to the light.” Trust me, even if its 10 years down the road. It will come to bite you in the butt

Spend time alone with your spouse.

It’s great to spend time together, but you also need your alone time. Make a date night or do snall things together. My husband likes to go to CVS together. We walk around, laugh, look at magazines. It’s snall, but special to him.

Answer the phone when your spouse calls

Run from the opposite sex Everyone is human. We all have eyes for the opposite sex. We are married, not dead. We are weak sinful individuals. However, you made a commitment , so if it takes you running away at the first sign of attraction, then RUN. Do what you need to do to break that connection. Don’t start sharing your problems or disappointment with anyone outside your marriage. If it’s not a marriage therapist that you both made an appointment to see, then close your lips. The enemy feeds off of your troubles. No one needs to be in your marriage business. And likewise, you don’t need to stand there and listen to the opposite sex complain to you about their marriage. Heck, half the time they are lying anyway. Direct them to the same sex. They are way better off talking to someone of the same sex.

Don’t be weak – no excuses.

Be a man or a woman. Honor your spouse. The grass is never greener on the other side

Speak

When you see your spouse greet them with, “good morning, good night, and “I love you” Always acknowledge their presence.

Never hang up the phone without saying I love you.

Always end your call to your spouse on a positive note. Then close the call with “I love you ”

Pray together

Last, but not least. I’m only putting this last because it’s very important and I want you to remember it. A family that prays together, stays together. If you make an effort to attend church as a family, your marriage will become a stronger bond. Get in the right church with strong leaders that have strong, imperfect, marriages. Remember, no one is perfect, but that’s no excuse to act like an idiot. I don’t know a marriage that has broken up and it had been based a biblical principles – -bonded by worshipping together.

A marriage takes time and effort. Marriage isn’t a walk in the park. Anyone that tells you their marriage hasn’t had any problems is lying to you. Every marriage has seen its ups and downs. True love sticks by one another, no matter what (except abuse) Take time to get to know your loved one before marriage. Once you have jumped that broom, it’s all in.

Divorce is not an option. Handle your business like an adult. Suck it up. It’s really not about you. It’s not about you being happy. I want you to be happy, but we must take the pressure off of us and realize, there’s something way bigger than us that needs to be accomplished.

How long have you been married? We want to know. Comment below

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2 Replies to “Making Marriage Work for YOU”

  1. What excellent tips for marriage! Congrats on 20+ years too!

    1. Thank you for both. God is good. Giving him all the credit. He gives us strength when we think we are short of it. ♥

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